Austrian politics…yes it is time to talk about it again. Trust me folks, there is nothing else to talk about here, except there is no snow, but I am in denial of that…It has been over 100 days now that we have had elections in Austria. These were Nationalrat elections, very similar to the elections we’ve just had in the states. These elections are held every four years, so they are a big deal. We got to witness this for the first time since we have been living in Austria, and I have to say it has been exciting, very much like a rollercoaster ride. One week it was speculated that a big coalition would emerge, then next we thought we were going to have new elections, and the next we thought (God forbid!) we were going to be swallowed up by the extreme right. I sure hope some people made some money out of this, the odds were too crazy for any bets. Of course, I should not be the one to throw the first stone, given our fiasco election several years ago…but I would still like to point out that the minute the Dems won the House and the Senate all other non-dem creatures were outta there (hehehe).
But yesterday was the day of the new government. We are not orphans anymore, all that road planning, school building, taxing and governing work can finally go on! Did I mention that the old government was on the payroll for this entire time, paid just to show up to work? No? Well, that’s taxpayer money, there is more where that came from, we won’t spoil today’s celebrations with nasty little details. Now that it’s all figured out, we can all go, red and black, blue and green, and drink Bruderschaft at the Heurigen of our choice. One day you are hurling insults at each other in the media, the next you shake hands and go have some Gulasch together. Politics á la Österreich to be sure!
In the US we only know two colors: blue and red. In Austria there are several colors: red, black, orange, green, and so on and so forth. It’s not always easy to get these colors to happily coexist. As we have seen in the big coalition negotiations over the last few months, BLACK has often tried to completely paint over RED. RED, for its part, has flashed its splendour for the media, where it looked oh so much cooler than the other party. Some say that RED has even failed to follow up on the promises made to voters last fall. Nevertheless, these two colors split the ruling power amongst themselves, with RED getting the chancellor office, in the person of Alfred Gusenbauer. All you need to know about him is that he likes women and a glass of good red wine. What more is there to life? But seriously, he is actually a decent guy, very social issues minded. BLACK got important ministries, such as finance, internal affairs, and a few others. Some say RED got cheated over the important posts. I don’t believe it. They got all the social issues related posts, which is where they wanted to make a difference in the first place, remains to be seen if they will, or they will just roll in their newly found glory. They have also introduced quite a few women into the new government. I just hope these women will actually accomplish something, the ones that were in the government so far were a bunch of old hens (no offense) that were a disgrace to their species.
What happened to the other colors? No one knows just yet. There were no media reports, other than a few reactions from the “others”. One notable reaction was that of our old friend Mr.Haider who was quick to pooh-pooh Mr. Gusenbauer for loosing his leftish touch. He of course, being on the way out there extreme, would have never yielded. I for one would like to know what role will GREEN have, for example, who earned their highest vote percentage in this last election, even if they are a minority. It remains to be seen if there is room for other colors in this new coalition marriage.
What does all this rainbow color diversity bring us? Well, the bliss of certainty that nothing will ever change. After all, this is Austria, and the true spirit of laissez-faire needs to be preserved for generations to come. Meanwhile, the big loosers of this election are the students, they’ll have to wait another four years to take a stab at having their tuition costs removed. Personally I think they need to take a look across the water where 50year olds are still paying off their college loans and consider themselves lucky to get a higher education at all. But I shall keep such thoughts to myself for fear of being drowned in the Donau. Meanwhile, I shall go into morning for having lost the sexiest finance minister alive.
